TO AVOID BEING FOOLISH
Proverbs 29:11 & 20 NKJV
11 A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.
20 Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Most people want to avoid looking foolish. There are some things I just don't do or do again to avoid appearing to be a fool. One thing I will avoid doing is riding a horse in public. I tried that a number of years ago when we had a church service at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds. It did not turn out well, and I made a note to self, never again. But there are some things that move us past looking foolish to being foolish. Our verses for today specify two areas.
The first one flies in the face of popular psychology. A foolish person vents all their feelings. Other translations say they vent all their anger. I believe both are applicable. Venting is the idea of letting out what is in you. Usually, this has to do with negative emotions and feelings. I don't know if I have heard of many people needing to vent all their positive vibes. Venting involves letting go of the negatives. But here is the challenge of venting. It does not solve the problem. Venting is not a constructive way to deal with the negatives we are experiencing. In fact, it's just the opposite. Venting does not let the negatives out; it establishes the negative emotions in a greater way. Venting does not let out; it lets in.
We cannot ignore the wisdom of the Proverbs when they speak to the power of our words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Venting pours out a lot of anger-filled, doubt-inspired words. No one vents the goodness of God and the hope we have in Him. And if we combine the wisdom of verse eleven with the wisdom of verse twenty, we see the peril of speaking too quickly. Someone who is quick with their words puts themselves in the beyond foolish category. The scriptures place a great deal of value and importance on our words. When someone is speaking too quickly, they are going to be saying things they would like to take back later. So someone who is accustomed to venting is going to be quicker to spew out the wrong things.
What then can we do? If we can't vent, are we damaging ourselves by holding back? Not according to the Proverbs. The wise person holds back. A wise person is not going to speak too quickly. And by holding back on feelings and anger, a wise person is better able to control those negative emotions. Holding back allows the negatives to die down. But someone may say I have to express what I am dealing with to someone. I agree, but the one to express them to is the One who can help calm your soul and do something about your pain and anger. One of the many things we can learn from the Psalms is that David expressed both his confidence in God and his feelings and emotions to God. Hundreds of years later, James would write that as God's children, expressions of His nature, we are to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Man's anger does not convey God's righteousness.
I once heard a pastor say that God gave us our wives so we, as pastors, would have a safe person to vent to. I don't think that was wise advice. Joy is an excellent source of counsel for me, but she made it clear that she was not the one I should be venting to. So I stopped. There is fool's gold in venting. It may feel good for a short time, but it does not have long-term value.
When it comes to venting, less is better. When it comes to our words, slow, not hasty, and your words will be tasty. I know that's a horrible rhyme, but it will stick in your head. You're welcome.
PRAYER
Lord, help me to not vent on the people around me. Show me how I can express what I am feeling to You. And help me slow down my words. I want to be a wise person in Your eyes.