TWO SOURCES OF STRIFE
Proverbs 26:20-21 ESV
20 For lack of wood the fire goes out,
and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.
21 As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
Proverbs is such an excellent book for understanding people. It truly is a book of timeless wisdom. But then why wouldn’t it be? The One who created us knows us better than anyone or anything. And our verses for today show us how to determine why there is strife or quarreling in our families, businesses, churches, and organizations.
If there is strife in an organization, the tendency is to deal with the strife. By strife, I mean bitter conflict, heated dissension. That was from WordBook dictionary, but I think the meaning is accurate. There is a difference between disagreement and strife. You can disagree without getting heated and contentious. The adage of disagreeing without being disagreeable is something we should be modeling as the Church of the Lord Jesus. However, when strife is present, we often keep dealing with quieting the conflict instead of dealing with the source of the conflict. According to this proverb, this inspired word, we need to be looking for the whisperer. We need to find the one who is talking slander or spreading gossip.
The whole idea behind whispering is that a person does not want what they are saying to be heard. It’s okay to whisper in a public setting when people are trying to listen or concentrate. It’s not okay to whisper when you don’t want others to hear what you are spreading around.
I remember being in my office years ago on a Wednesday night after service. I heard some leaders come in and were talking in an office down the hall. I recognized all the people in that room because I could hear each one. Until they went quiet and began to whisper. As soon as that happened, I knew we had a problem. I am sure the Holy Spirit helped me and called that situation to my attention; for sure enough, we had leaders spreading slander. And when they were gone, as in gone from our staff, the conflict that always seemed to be present died down immediately. God knows what He is talking about!
The other source of strife is someone who loves to argue. A quarrelsome person seems to think that arguing is their God-given calling in life. I hate to admit it, but I was that guy in my marriage during our early years. Joy said she was convinced that I loved to argue. I treated every conflict as a win-lose situation. I felt as if I had to win, had to have the last word. Do not try this at home. This mentality hurt our marriage. According to Joy, my one saving grace was that I would apologize. But there was damage done. The good news is that I did not stay that way. There are now very few quarrels in my home and a marked absence of bitter conflict or heated dissension. The Lord is gracious and helped me in this area. If I can change, there is hope for you.
Don’t just ignore the strife. Pray about the source. And if the source is you, ask the Lord to forgive you and help you to change. The fires of strife are heat we can all do without.