HOW TO KEEP A CONFLICT UNDER CONTROL
PROVERBS 15:1
PROVERBS 15:1 NKJ
A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
For many men, to be called soft is not considered a compliment. To be soft is to be weak. The soft get walked on.
But in this proverb, it takes on a different meaning. Soft in this context means gentle, refined, thoughtful. When we answer back in this manner, it can turn away hot anger. A harsh word? Unfortunately, I am an expert in knowing how that works. Drop a few of those, and the anger fires up.
So then to keep a conflict under control, keep your words gentle, not painful. Thoughtful, not careless. That way you stand a much better chance of keeping things calmer.
But I believe there is another application of this proverb. A gentle, refined thoughtful answer helps you turn away wrath in you! And a harsh, painful careless word coming from you can stir up anger in you.
APPLICATION
There have been times in my life where I have had to use refined thoughtful answers to both keep my cool and cool down a situation. However, there have also been those times where I have cranked up the anger by my words. In James' epistle, he says if you can control your words, you are a well-developed believer. And if you can exercise self-discipline in your words, you can exercise discipline in other areas of your life (James 3:2).
Thinking before you speak is a wise decision. It can help you diffuse a volatile situation and also help you keep your anger under control.
PRAYER
Dear Heavenly Father, please help me learn how to give refined, thoughtful answers. Help me recognize and cut back on harsh words that do not bless others or help me.